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When they graduated, they wanted to be more open and let go of the grief of hiding their identity.
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Their sadness and depression fluctuated throughout their high school life. They say back then, this was all new to them they knew that you could be straight or gay, but the word "asexual" simply wasn’t on their radar. Lakayla Wilhite, a 21-year-old student in Orlando, found out about asexuality in high school in the same way many queer people find their communities: by using the Internet. "You’re not broken, there’s nothing wrong with you, and there are other people who feel exactly the same way that you do." What It's Like to Be a Southern Ace I just didn’t have an interest or desire,” she says. I spent so much time thinking that there was something wrong with me because all my friends were having sex. “The biggest thing for me is that you’re not broken. Cross also feels self-acceptance is key to a healthy sexual identity. She explains romantic attraction as wanting to sit on the couch holding someone’s hand, versus wanting to engage in sexual activity with them. "I enjoy that it exists separately, that you can have a deep emotional attraction to somebody that is devoid of sexual desire." She had thought she was bisexual until she learned about romantic attraction. It was helpful to explore how she felt sexually, but there were still some kinks to work out when it came to romantic attraction.Ĭross says learning about romantic and sexual attraction - and how they operate separately - was when she started to put the puzzle pieces together. Being open to what your partner is saying and be willing to adapt if you need to," she explains. "It’s just communicating, listening, understanding. Navigating a healthy asexual-heterosexual relationship relies on heavy communication. "I explained how it doesn’t change anything about us and our relationship, it’s just me getting a better understanding of who I am," she says. I spent so much time thinking that there was something wrong with me because all my friends were having sex." "The biggest thing for me is that you’re not broken.